Horrible Comic Cover O’ the Week 2/15/08

Okay, so it’s been a little more than a week since the last cover, but we don’t really run this ship with German efficiency. Anyways, here’s a whole heaping helping of horror straight from Punisher Force of Nature, written by Duane Swiercyznksi with art by Michel Lacombe.

Frank Castle kills Moby Dick.

You know what I find special about this cover isn’t just the obvious allusion to Moby Dick and the obvious comparison it brings between Captain Ahab and Frank Castle, but the bizarre sequence of events that must have lead to this situation.

Follow my logic for a moment, if you will. The Punisher’s whole purpose in life is to exterminate criminals in the most violent, gratuitous manner possible. The Punisher only kills those who deserve to die. So for the Punisher to get in a rickety little boat and push off into the Deep Blue Sea with nothing more than a spear to waste a giant white whale, what Whale must have been into some seriously illegal affairs. We’re talking like selling dope laced with cyanide to mentally challenged orphans and then eating their dead, drugged out orphan bodies, kind of illegal affairs.

What? It’s the Marvel Universe, if they can undo Spidey and MJ, anything is possible.


Horrible Comic Cover O’ The Week 2/4/08


Okay…just to get the easy joke out of the way, CATFIGHT!!!

Seriously though, I don’t care how many times publishers say otherwise, comics are made for 18-30 year old men. What about this depiction of two ladies, tightly embraced, ripping the clothes from each others bodies, biting lips, says female empowerment?! The only way this cover could be any kinkier is if they were fighting in a pit of mud…or jello….or jello mud.

Way to go DC Comics…Women in Fridges and super sexy lesbo catfights. Nice.